Monday, August 10, 2009

LIVING DEAD

I had been trying to forget you and move on with my life. Been trying to keep my mind occupied by other thoughts to keep your thoughts out of mine. But I still can't. At the end of the day, I still think of you. God knows how much I love you. And only God knows what I've been through. No one could ever say that I'm in the verge of breaking down. No one could ever say that behind those smiles and laughter, I am weeping..crying and trying to be strong to live everyday of my life. I am as if living for nothing. Living for no reasons at all. I'm a living dead.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Filipino Fables



I had been thinking about this topic last night. Been very busy the whole day taking care of my 2 year old nephew. This is the time for me to have an output of what I had been thinking last night.

I had been thinking of Filipino fables. I remember when I was in my second grade, I usually go to our library to read books. Be it fiction or non fiction. But the very reason why I go to our school's library is to read Filipino fables. I really love reading those. Before I go home, it's a must for me to go to the library and borrow books. Books that are mostly fables. Haha. I remember, I used to imagine my self that I am one of the characters in one of those books I've read. Hahaha.

I love the story of two friends--the monkey and the turtle. I checked the story and read it online. And I found myself imagining my self as the turtle of course. Hahaha.

I love the turtle for he out witted the monkey. Hahaha. Selfishness could lead you to trouble. So here's the story of The Monkey and The Turtle.
The Monkey and The Turtle

Once upon a time there were two friends, the monkey and the turtle.

One day the turtle went to the monkey's house and said, "Friend, let's go out and take a stroll together? That is if you have time"

Since the monkey was not doing nothing at the time, he accepted his friend's suggestion to take a stroll together. Along their way they found a young banana plant lying along the road.

"What shall we do with this banana plant?" the turtle asked. The monkey replied "Let's divide it between the two. We shall cut it into two equal parts. You will get the lover half and I will get the upper half."

And so the turtle agreed.

So the two friends cut the banana plant into two parts. As per agreement, the turtle got the lower half, and the monkey got the upper half. After cutting the banana plant, each went on his way home. The monkey planted his part of the banana plant in his garden upon arriving home. And so the turtle did the same as soon as he reached home.

The monkey's banana plant died after few days. The monkey felt sad, because he know that he will not be able to eat the sweet ripe bananas.

On the other hand, the turtle's banana plant grew stout and fast. In a few weeks it bore fruit which soon ripened, ready to be eaten.

One morning the turtle wandered what happened to his friend turtle's banana. "I'll pay him a visit and see what happen." the turtle said.

And so the turtle went to his friend monkey's place.

When the turtle arrived, he saw his friend looking very sad. The turtle said, "Friend Monkey, why the long face? What happen? You look as if today is the end of the world!"

The monkey replied while pointing to the dead plant in the garden. "My banana plant died. What about yours my friend?"

"It is now bearing fruit and the fruit has already ripened," the turtle replied.

"Wow! Will you let me see it?" said the monkey.

Since the turtle is unselfish, he said yes. And they went to see the ripe bananas.



Upon reaching the turtle's place, the monkey saw the banana plant and its ripe fruits.

The monkey asked." Who will gather the ripe bananas?"

"My grandfather of course!" the turtle replied.

"But your grandfather is lame!" the monkey said.

"Then my brother will do it," the turtle said.

"But your brother is blind!" replied the monkey.

After thinking who will gather the ripe bananas, the monkey said,"My friend, will you allow me to climb the banana plant and gather the ripe fruit instead?

The turtle answered Yes to the monkey.

The monkey climbed the banana plant. In two seconds flat he reached the top. Without a delay he picked one ripe banana, peeled it, and ate it. He picked another banana and did the same. In just a few minutes, half of the ripe bananas had been eaten by the monkey.

With what the monkey has doing, the turtle felt disgusted. The turtle said, "Friend, what about me? Please give me some bananas too."

The monkey just laughed, then threw banana peelings at the turtle.

"I'll be teaching him a lesson," the turtle said to himself.

The turtle then left the monkey and went to a thicket where he found a lots of thorns. He gathered two big armfuls of the thorns and then put them around the trunk of the banana plant.

"Friend Monkey, it's not healthy to stay up there all day. I have a piece of good advice for you. When you hear the barking of the dog, that's the signal for you to come down." And he left after putting all the thorns around the banana trunk.

A neighbor's dog barked. The monkey heard the sound. Since he was so full of ripe bananas that he could hardly move, he follow the turtle's advice, then he started to climb down. All of a sudden he lost his grip and fell on the thorns which surrounded the trunk of the banana plant. The thorns pricked the monkey's body, legs, and arms. With effort, the monkey managed to leave the place and return home.



The next morning the monkey woke up early and said, "I'll make that turtle pay for what he did to me yesterday."

He went, looking for the turtle.

Soon he came to a farm. Feeling so tired looking for the turtle, he sat on a coconut shell. It so happened that his tail went through the hole in the shell. He did not know that the turtle was inside the shell.

After the monkey had sat down, the turtle pulled the monkey's tail. Quickly, the monkey jumped. Then the monkey kicked the coconut shell. The shell turned over and revealing the turtle.

"So it's you!" the monkey said. "I've been looking for you all morning, do you know that?

The monkey picked the turtle up and said, "Now I will punish you."

"What will you do with me?" the turtle asked.

"I'll make a live charcoal and roast you!" said the monkey.

"If you do that my friend, I will become red," said the turtle. "Have I told you that red is my favorite color?"

"Then I will chop you into pieces!" the monkey said.

"If you do that, there will be a great number of turtles crawling around," said the turtle.

"Then I will throw you to the river!" said the monkey.

This is what the turtle has been waiting for all the time, for he liked to be in the river where he could swim to his heart's content.

The turtle pretended that he doesn't want being thrown into the river.

"My friend, please, don't do that," the turtle said in a pleading voice. "I will surely drown. Have pity on me!"

" Have pity on you?! After what you did to me, you expect me to have pity on you? You must be crazy. I'm sorry, my dear friend turtle, but I will throw you into the river - now!"

"Listen, Friend Monkey! Please" cried the turtle. "It will be better if you roast me over live charcoals. Or you can just chop me into pieces. But, please do not throw me into the river!"

But the monkey is deaf to the turtle's plea. He threw the turtle into the river.

The turtle went down, down into the river for awhile. And then he came up the surface. Holding a big fish on his arms.

"Dear Friend Monkey, look! I've caught a big fish!" the turtle shouted.

The monkey was taken aback for sometime.

"Will you please give it to me, dear friend?" he managed to say.

"Why don't you just jump into the river and catch one for yourself?" the turtle said. I never thought that you are that lazy."

Since the monkey doesn't want being called lazy. He immediately jumped into the river and, since he did not know how to swim, he drowned.

The turtle laughed all day long.

=====================================================================================

Thanks to http://pasyalan.net/legends for posting this fable.
And to BradFitzPatric.com for the turtle image.


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Just want to share

I just wanna share these to you guys. I created/posted these in my friendster account. I already deleted few because my partner then told me to do so. lol.

i_love_you_thumb.gif I _____ you image by ncsucatholicgal

You know who you are.

Hope ours will last forever.



ART OF LETTING GO

I love this song so much..I dunno why..maybe I’m just used to letting go of something or someone..It’s hard to let go of someone or something you love most..But what’s the use of holding on if that someone is telling you that he/she is not happy with you anymore..In my case, I tried holding on,but there was a point that I came to realize that why would I still hold on to a relationship that I know one is not happy..Hope that someday you would be able to find that SOMEONE who will meet your standards, someone who will take you away from your fears, and someone who will love you more than I do. I will not be expecting for another chance, we already had it but ours just did not work. Maybe we’re not just meant to be. Maybe we are destined to be with somebody. Only God knows if we’re meant to be or not. I’ll be moving on. I’ll try living my life without you. It would be difficult for me, because I’d love you more than I love myself, but I have to. I’ll just think that I met you in my most beautiful dream. I wish you happiness.



A LETTER TO MY BABY

After a devastating moment, here comes a mind boggling, heart pumping event in my life.

Honestly speaking, I jumped into a relationship feeling nothing. The moment I said let’s give it a try. I do not feel something for you. But you know what? You taught me how to leave my past behind. You taught me so many things. You even taught me how to LOVE YOU after a devastating moment.

You just don’t know how thankful and happy I am when you came in to my life. No words could ever describe how I feel. Thank you for making me feel loved.

Thank you for sharing me your dreams, and calling me your share dreamer, your husband, your baby, your honey, your teddy, and of course YOUR LOVE. Thank you for invading and healing my broken heart. You even shared me your fears. Baby, always remember that I am always here for you. I’ll help you over come those fears as I promised.

I’ll never leave you behind. I’ll always be with you. I promise to be always beside you no matter what happens. And I promise to LOVE YOU for the rest of my life.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.


I LOVE YOU

Simple,but creates impact.

Phrase?

Simple sentence?

Whatever…

One must be very careful in saying ILOVEYOU, it should not be uttered if you do not mean it. It should not be used if you are not certain about your feeling with somebody. This may be sweet,that could make you think that you are surrounded by chocolates. This could make you feel that you are in heaven, surrounded by angels. But beware, it could also cause you too much pain. It could be as sharp as a samurai. This could break you down into pieces,not literally though. That’s why we need to be careful in saying ILOVEYOU to someone. If we will be saying ILOVEYOU, we need to make sure that we mean it, that we are saying it to person we really LOVE.

The Statue of Liberty


Ever since I was a child had been fascinated by this wonderful statue. I even asked my self how they transported it from France to America. I had been telling myself that one day I will be able to visit this statue. I tried to research on the history if this very wonderful creation. And here's a bit of information regarding The Statue of Liberty. The Statue of Liberty was given by France to America as centennial gift, only ten years late. This was given in recognition of the friendship established by both countries during the American Revolution. It symbolizes freedom, democracy and international friendship. It was designed by the sculptor Frederic Aguste Bartholdi in 1876. It was given to commemorate the declaration of the American Independence. The sattue is the joint effort of France and America. They both agreed that America will be in-charge of thepedestal while the assembly of the statue will be to France. There are issues regarding the funding of both the statue and the pedestal. But they were able to found solution through fund raising. The Statue of Liberty was shipped into 350 individual pieces and 214 crates. The statue was re-assembled on her new pedestal in four months time. The dedication of the staue took place infront of thousands spectators in October 28, 1886.

(http://www.statueofliberty.org/Statue_History.html)

Annabel Lee

I remember way back in high school when we discussed Edgar Allan Poe's biography and his literary works. We we're even asked to memorize one of his poem. We have to comply with it because that will serve as our final exam. We we're given two days to memorize our chosen poem. Honestly, I never had an interest with any poets and so with their poems. I happen to see Edgar Allan Poe's ANNABEL LEE. So I decided to memorize this poem. When I went home, I immediately brought out my copy of Annabel Lee. I had a hard time memorizing the poem. I cursed myself for choosing this. I should've chose a shorter poem instead. What a heck!!! Anyway, I said to myself that I have to memorize it since we're only given 2 days to memorize it. I have to stick with it. lol. The day has come. We're called to recite our chosen poem in front of the class. I hate it. There are butterflies flying inside my stomach. Argh!!! And so my turn came. I can still feel the butterflies inside my stomach. I was able to recite it but sad to say I forgot the other lines. Though I was given the score of 81 for that. atleast I did my best. Anyway, here is Edagra Allan Poe's ANNABEL LEE.

Annabel Lee

    It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Oh Beautiful Pagudpud


Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte Philippines



I wasn't born here, although I lived in Ilocos Norte for almost 5 years to pursue my education. But I learned to love this place. I've been to this place couple of times. Honestly, I still miss this place. Really really miss this paradise. Oh! Dear Pagudpud when will I see you again?
Pagudpud, Oh beautiful Pagudpud

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Before, During and After



I was sorting out my things inside my room when I happen to see my review materials for the June 2009 Nursing Licensure Examination. While seeing those review materials, I can't help but reminisce those days before, during and after the exam.

Before: After I failed the December 2009 NLE, I've already conditioned myself that I will not be taking the licensure exam anymore. That I will focus my attention on my work as associate in a BPO. I've decided to expand my horizon in the new field that I am inclined to until someone came and make me want to take the June 2009 board exam. That's actually a start of our dream. Sad to say we just parted ways a day before our 6th month of being partners in love. I owe it to him why I'm back with my original plan. As preparation to the licensure exam, I decided to attend a review class since I know that I only have few knowledge left about nursing.lol. With no hesitation I went immediately to my review center of choise, CBRC ( Carl Balita Review Center ). I may say that my review days are one of the momentous part of my life. Reviewing with the people I know would held me become a better person. And I believe that our reviewers in CBRC prepared us to the so-called quiz. ( we call NLE a quiz actually, I think the reason behind that is to lessen the pressure/anxiety that we will feel until the much awaited quiz.)lol

During:

I woke up on a rainy Saturday morning of June 07, 2009. A bit nervous but feeling ready to take the quiz that will change my life forever. Confident enough? Why not because I know that aside for a fact that we are prepared by one of the BEST review center, I believe that God is with me taking the board exam. I took the exam at University of Santo Tomas. I happen to see examinees who took their review at the same review center where I attended. I smiled of them but they never cared to smiled back. I know that they are from the same review center because of the bracelet that was given by Sir Carl Balita himself. I wonder why for a while, I told myself that I need to focus on the exam. I'll think about the incident after the exam. Sunny Sunday, the last day of our quiz. The momentum was still there. I know I have to give my best shot. Because I made a promise to myself that that will be the last NLE that I will be taking because I will be a registered nurse.

After:

The days after the exam, it's proven that the anxiety is higher compare to what I have before and during the NLE. And I believe this will continue for almost 2 months. So what's keeping me busy? I tried applying for jobs and actually I am now waiting for a call for the contract signing. Need to find the job. I need to earn something the settle all my obligations before I fulfill my calling/vocation. Which is being a nurse. As what Sir Carl said: YOU DESERVE TO BE R.N